So your toddler is asking to nurse, and your pregnant self is feeling irritable. You want to breastfeed throughout your pregnancy, but nursing is not the comforting, comfortable proposition it once was.
Be clear that you are free to nurse or not. Just not up to nursing your toddler right now? Learn about responding supportively to your nursling even as you turn down a request. If you do opt to nurse, try these solutions for coping with irritability or pain.
Make Genuine Offers
This is a variation of the “don’t offer, don’t refuse” approach. There are so many ways to comfort and nourish your toddler, so you don’t always have to leap to a breastfeeding offer if it’s likely to increase your tension level. If you only want to nurse a little, only offer a little.
If you’re having a challenging day, it’s perfectly okay to flow with that, offering less or not at all when you’re feeling irritable and unwilling. Contrary to popular belief, a toddler will be able to flow with a mom who offers some nursing one day and none at all the next. Consistency is highly overrated. Let your toddler see you working through challenges peacefully moment by moment, and she will learn to find solutions in the same way.
Skin to Skin Contact
You've probably read about and experienced the benefits of skin-to-skin contact. When you’re experiencing a high level of irritability during pregnancy, however, it may help immensely to decrease the amount of skin available to wandering, fidgety toddler hands. Wear a top that pulls down from the top or try a spandex belly band for extra coverage around your middle. These pregnancy nursing solutions may make the difference between being able to say yes or no.
Decrease Sensation
Try supporting the bottom of your breast firmly with the opposite hand. Some mothers report that this decreases the amount of sensation during nursing.
Deep Breathing
Sometimes mothers forget to breathe! If you have initiated a nursing session and but are feeling irritable and looking for solutions, try deep breathing for a minute or so to see if it helps. Think about inhaling calm and relaxation, exhaling tension, inhaling acceptance, exhaling resistance.
Distraction
Books and videos can be a great solutions to pregnancy breastfeeding challenges, especially if your pregnancy issue is more about irritation than physical pain.
Reach for a Better Thought
You can think your way to a better breastfeeding experience. Start with what you don’t want. “I know I don’t want to feel restless right now. What do I want?” Then name it. “I want to have a connected, loving relationship with my child throughout this pregnancy. I want this nursing situation to be comfortable, and I want it to conclude peacefully. I want to find easy solutions for any challenges that arise.” During that whole time you were reaching for a better thought, your mind was off all the negative thoughts about nursing that had been plaguing you. This technique can lead to either increased comfort with nursing during pregnancy or a way to peacefully end to the nursing session.
When you incorporate effective communication with the other components of nursing success, you are setting the stage for peaceful interaction. Learn what to expect, expand your toddler’s support system, find supportive ways to turn down nursing requests when you have to, and enjoy every moment with your nursing toddler.
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