Emotional Aspects of Breastfeeding After Surgery
Guilt and Anxiety About Nursing After Breast Reduction Surgery
Aug 13, 2008
Most women who are nursing after breast reduction surgery have their lactation potential compromised to some extent. Although some women are able to achieve a full supply, few can do it without copious amounts of herbal and prescription galactagogues and lactogenic foods. No matter how much milk they are able to make, these mothers struggle with many negative emotions associated with their decision to have the surgery and its impact on their ability to breastfeed their babies.
Guilt Over Low Milk Supply
Every mother wants to give her baby the very best. When she cannot do so because of a decision she made in the past, the guilt can be tremendous. If she does not regret having the surgery because of its positive effect on her life, she may feel guilty for “choosing” her psychological well-being over being able to provide 100% of her baby’s nutritional needs.
In Diana West’s book Defining Your Own Success. Breastfeeding After Breast Reduction Surgery [2001 La Leche League International], she urges mothers not to gauge the value of their nursing relationship on ounces of milk alone. When a mother can take pride in what she is able to accomplish, it alleviates some of the guilt over what she isn’t.
Anxiety Over Baby's Health
Many breastfeeding moms worry about whether they are making enough milk. A post-surgical mom has even more reason to do so even if she is able to achieve a full supply. A constant struggle with whether or not to supplement and how much can take its toll on an exhausted new mom who is probably still learning to read her baby’s cues. She will always be wondering if he’s crying because he is hungry.
While a midwife, lactation consultant or La Leche League leader can provide information on how to know if a baby is getting enough milk, a mother whose baby is on the bottom side of normal can become confused and worried. She may start to obsessively weigh the baby, develop detailed charts of baby’s feedings and output, or pump exhaustively. While these responses are quite common, it’s important to keep them in check lest the mother’s stress level rise too high, which in itself can impact milk production.
Feeling Like a Failure
Self-deprecation is another emotion that comes into play. A mother who is taking 30 pills a day to make milk for her child and still having to supplement several ounces a day may feel that she has failed her child. Preparing the supplement and delivering it to the baby is a constant reminder of what she cannot do for the baby herself. If she is pumping or using an at-breast supplementer, she may feel embarrassed that she needs technology to help her feed her baby. She will most likely punish herself mentally for the decision she made and the repercussions it is now having.
Jealousy of Other Breastfeeding Mothers
When you are working as hard as you possibly can to achieve something, then turn your head to see the next woman doing it effortlessly, it is bound to create feelings of jealousy. Even amongst women struggling with the same challenges, jealousy can arise over how much milk someone makes or whose baby is “easier” to deal with in the face of similar struggles.
Judging Other Mothers
Another difficult emotion to harness is judgment of other mothers who have chosen not to breastfeed or who have “given up” for whatever reason. Those mothers’ decisions may seem to devalue what the post-surgical mom is working so hard to achieve.
While all of these emotions are normal to some extent, they are not necessarily healthy. It is important to have support whether it be professional advice, a breastfeeding support group, or family and friends. A fantastic support tool for women who are nursing after breast reduction surgery is Diana West’s Breast Feeding After Reduction forum, where women who share this unique challenge come together to share stories, information, support and friendship. These emotions can seem overwhelming, but you are not alone in experiencing them, and with time they can be overcome.
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