Negative Breastfeeding Language
Summary of Diane Weissinger’s Essay, “Watch Your Language”
Feb 15, 2008
Negative Messages In Breastfeeding Language
People tend to use a pocketfull of standard language when attempting to support a newly-breastfeeding mom. Words like “best”, “advantages”, “special bond”, and a slew of adjectives to describe the breastfed baby that end in –er: “smarter, healthier, better-smelling”. While this sounds benign, even positive, there are hidden messages to these words that may undermine a woman’s breastfeeding efforts. Diane Wiessinger, MS, IBCLC addresses these in her essay, “Watch Your Language”, originally published in the Journal of Human Lactation, Vol. 12, No. 1, 1996.
Breast Is Best
How many breastfeeding supporters have spouted “breast is best” or talked about the “optimal” way to feed babies, the “ideal” food? These words sound positive, but Wiessinger warns that the underlying message is that breastfeeding is something that perfect people, perfect moms aspire to, not regular people. Wiessinger asks if you are the “best possible parent” or if your home is “ideal”. Probably not. But ask yourself this: is your mothering “inadequate”? Are your meals “deficient”?Those words have a completely different feel. Says Wiessinger, breastfeeding is not “better” than formula feeding. Formula feeding is sub-standard as compared to the norm, which is breastfeeding.
Advantages of Breastfeeding
When encouraging a new mom to breastfeed, it seems perfectly fine and sensible to list the advantages of breastfeeding. However, Wiessinger points out that these advantages are often phrased in a way that establishes bottle and formula-feeding as the norm. When you talk about breastfed babies being smarter and healthier, you are essentially saying they are “better than” what people normally are. In truth, many people are happy to just be normal. When the phrasing is changed to reflect breastfeeding as the norm, the sentiment again changes. Says Wiessinger, “Breastfed babies are not ‘healthier;’ artificially-fed babies are ill more often and more seriously.” Breastfed babies are not smarter; artificially-fed children have lower IQs.
Special Bond Breastfeeding Brings
The special bond that breastfeeding brings is often spoken of. But should it be considered special, or should it be considered a basic, essential part of mothering? Wiessinger points out that the word “special” often connotes something out of the ordinary. It’s a lot of work to build a “special” relationship. Special means “hard”, “time-consuming”, “above and beyond”. These are not words an exhausted new mom wants to contemplate. The bond between a nursing mom and her baby is nothing more than an extraordinary relationship that women were meant to have with their children. Artificially feeding robs them both of that bond.
Choice to Bottlefeed
Yes, the choice of how to feed your infant is there thanks to the billion-dollar formula industry. The medical community will often simply ask how a mother plans to feed her baby, and not intervene when the answer is “bottle”. Wiessinger argues that if a woman confessed to her doctor that she had taken up smoking recently, he would do everything in his power to ensure she fully understood the hazards and risks of her choice, especially now when she had the greatest chance of making a change. Not giving parents the same treatment with regards to their feeding choice is at best hypocritical and at worst irresponsible. An uninformed choice is not a choice at all.
Breast Feeding
How can "breastfeeding" be a negative word? It describes the act of feeding the baby at the breast, nothing more. Yet Wiessinger gently asks readers to look beyond the word itself to what it connotes. When talking about breastfeeding, there is an emphasis on the breast and on the feeding. Too much time is spent worrying about whether or not the breasts are working properly, how the baby is latched, how much milk is being extracted. Writes Wiessinger, “Women may say they ‘breastfed’ for three months, but they usually say they ‘nursed’ for three years.” Why is that? After a little time, it becomes less about the feeding and more about the relationship.
Of course, you never want to sound forced and artificial, and it certainly wouldn’t be helpful to a new mom to speak to her about breastfeeding in a way other than from the heart. However, it is helpful to understand how the words you use might send subtle, negative messages to her. By making small changes in the way you talk about breastfeeding, you might make larger changes in her perceptions about nursing her baby.
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