Breastfeeding Fathers Need not Feel Left out
Does Dad Feel Excluded when his Baby is Breastfed?
Feeding a baby is not the only way to develop a close and loving relationship with him. A breastfeeding mother is indispensable to her baby, but there are many other essential things to do in caring for a newborn baby that promote bonding. In fact, the father can do everything the mother can apart from breastfeed. Dad can be fully involved in caring for his baby while appreciating that breastfeeding is providing his baby with the best start in life.
Dad's Hands-on Approach
To complement the womanly art, a father has particular masculine talents. His deeper voice is more soothing when he sings or talks to the baby. Babies seem to respond and relax when they hear the deep sounds of a male voice. A father's flatter chest makes a great place for his baby to nap. Without a woman's protruding breasts he can carry his baby in a sling or soft baby carrier often more easily than his partner. Because men usually have longer arms and larger hands, they are better at doing some of the "colic holds" that soothe a fretful baby.
Bonding between Dad and Baby
A baby bonds with his father when he is doing the routine tasks of nappy changing, bathing and carrying. One study revealed just how important a father's regularly bathing of his children can be. The findings of the 14-year study by Dr. Howard Steele, a psychologist of the University of Central London, showed that those children who miss out on being bathed by their fathers are three times more likely to experience behavioural problems. The report revealed problems in teenagers that could be traced back to a lack of quality time spent with their fathers in the early months of life.
Dad's Support for Mum
Apart from this hands-on involvement, a father is extremely important in terms of supporting and encouraging his partner to breastfeed. He can make the difference between forging on through challenging situations and giving up at the first sign of difficulty. Rather than suggest giving the baby a bottle of formula when mum is in tears, he can acknowledge her perseverance and find her a breastfeeding counsellor's phone number; then, he can help with trying out the counsellor's suggestions or even suggesting other strategies. If the baby's father speaks up and is positive about breastfeeding, it takes some of the burden away from mum and boosts her self-confidence.
Practical help is always appreciated, too, especially in the early weeks. This is the time when dad might usefully take over doing the washing, shopping, cleaning and cooking.
In other societies and in times past, new mothers could often rely on their own mothers or other relatives to take over the housework and meal preparation during the first weeks and months after a new baby was born. Nowadays many mothers don't have that support. You may live far away from other members of your family. Becoming a mother can be an isolating and overwhelming experience as you try to cope with all the needs of a baby, household chores and adjusting to a different rhythm.
Parenting is a joint venture and a father will reap the benefits when he's supported his partner through those difficult first weeks. It is a part of the mother's biological role to feed her baby while the role of the father is a complementary and equally important one. Dads should not feel left out!
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